…just some random thoughts that I’m having at 23
1) I can’t wait to fall in love so that I can experience someone wanting me as much as I know that I will want them in every way- sexually, emotionally, physically, and mentally. I am so excited to know that one day I will be with someone that wakes up and is thankful to have all of me; someone that finds my flaws and my imperfections beautiful. Someone that makes me feel like the princess that I am. Someone that makes me feel worth it!
2) I’ve realized you have to cut the fake people out of your life. It’s okay to have acquaintances, or people that you inevitably have to come in contact with, but if you can cut them out, I’ve realized that’s what needs to be done. I have gone above and beyond for so many people trying to feel accepted or loved and I’ve never even gotten a passing glance. I have sacrificed more of myself for nothing countless times, and at 23, I have finally realized I deserve more. If you are one of those people that do reciprocate, appreciate, and duplicate, then here’s to you for being a good friend, because we can all use a little more of that, and a little less fake!
3) I realized I deserve better! I have actually wasted a little over two years of my life where every day I woke up I wondered if I deserved better, and eventually I learned I did. It wasn’t until I found my friends Amanda, Jordan, Melissa, and Audrey that I realized completely without questions that I am worth it, that I always will deserve the best. At 23 I promised myself that I am no longer going to waste time wondering if I deserve better, because I know I do.
4) I have realized that going with the flow is a waste of time and effort. God created us all individually. He created unique personalities so that we can live in a creative, unordinary world where self expression should be appreciated, not torn down. I have accepted that I will never rock the latest fashion, or have the best hair, and God knows I will never have a six pack, but I’m okay with it. I have accepted myself for who I am and if you refer back to #2, I’ve learned to cut out those people that don’t accept who I am.
5) Finally, I’ve realized the importance of losing yourself. It is so important mentally to lose yourself in something you love. Whether it be reading, listening to music, painting, writing a blog, etc… you have to have that time so that you can stay honest with yourself, because the only way to be real with others is to start by being honest with yourself.
It takes a lot for me to get emotional, I don’t know whether that’s a good or a bad thing, but I can say that when I look back over the last year (Feb. ’13 to Feb. ’14) I am so damn thankful for every single person I’ve met, whether it just be in passing by or conversations held or lifetime friendships built. I have met and shared memories with family and friends that will never cease to remind me how blessed I am. I have experienced death, heartbreak, backstabbing, gossip, and lies, but by the strength that God has given me, I can honestly say I have come out stronger. I am so happy with my life right now! I have amazing friends, a strong supportive family, and someone to spend special moments with.
Stay beautiful! Xoxo