a clear sign.

Happy Friday everyone 🙂 I can’t believe the week is already over. This means that I only have two more days of orientation, but really only one more day, because I officially start my twelve hour shifts on Tuesday! I’m pretty excited!

This week I have not been resting very well at night. I don’t know if it has to do with the fact that I have a ton of stuff going on, or I’m just not taking the time to relax before getting in bed, or I’m over exhausted, or what. But, last night I made sure to do a little reading before I went to bed, to try and make me tired and relax me a little bit for the night. I didn’t sleep too well, but I bought some Advil PM for tonight, so I’m hoping I get some rest, because I am EXHAUSTED!

OH, Patrick 🙂

Anywhoooooo, on Thursday I posted about my experience in Nicaragua, and if you haven’t read, I talked about how God worked in and through me. Basically, what was re-emphasized in my faith throughout the trip was that faith without actions/works is nothing. After spilling my guts in my post about Nicaragua yesterday, I woke up this morning feeling extra blessed for some reason. It was an awesome feeling to wake up this morning and just thank Jesus for letting me see another day. Anywayyyyyyy, right when I woke up feeling like P Diddy a million bucks, I turned to my night stand and whipped out my bible, The Message version. As soon as I opened it up it was on Romans 7, and I just started reading. When I finished the Chapter, I literally looked up and said “Thank you God”, because I knew He had me turn to that Chapter for a reason 🙂

Romans 7

14-16I can anticipate the response that is coming: “I know that all God’s commands are spiritual, but I’m not. Isn’t this also your experience?” Yes. I’m full of myself—after all, I’ve spent a long time in sin’s prison. What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary.

17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

21-23It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

24I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

25The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.


Just like in my previous post, I talked about how it’s really easy for me to say one thing, but do the opposite, and I LOVE how verses 14-16 emphasize how easy it is to decide one way, and then act the other. The verses go on to say that before we can know the law AND keep it, we have to realize that we don’t have what it takes. I love in verses 24-25 how  the question is asked “is there no one who can do anything for me?’ and the reply is simply “Jesus Christ can and does”! It’s nice to know that  the only way I can consistently “practice what I preach” is to rely and trust Jesus Christ, because just like it says in Romans 7- He WILL allow us to know the law AND keep it, to say one thing and do it, to believe one thing and justify that belief… Well, to me, that is truly amazing, and it further inspires my faith to practice in words and speech that is validated by my behavior and actions.

I’ll be honest with you guys that this last week has been a huge struggle for my light to shine. It has been emotional, exhausting, and very challenging. It is a struggle day in and day out to keep my light shining, but I love knowing that when I set my ego aside, God gives me opportunities to make my light shine brighter, which in return helps others lights shine brighter.

“Jesus wants to clean your soul”

Tonight, I pray with a sincere heart that the Lord continues to bless me with circumstances and situations to surrender, serve, and shine for His glory. I also pray that God brings peace and healing to the Barrow family. Thank you Lord for your grace and mercy every single day. Captivate my thoughts and shine your light through me =)

Stay beautiful! xoxo


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